When you are in a part of world where all you can see is high mountains on three sides and a vast ocean on one side, you might feel connecting to nature. That is a good thought, anyone interested can go on a tryst with Mother Nature but then do keep a check on those hyenas, rattlesnakes and a mountain lion/leopard (Have not got the chance see this fellow yet but there are people who have seen it). Why I tell you to keep a track of these fellow living beings is that they might have a tendency to learn more about the anatomy and behavior of bipeds. After all I am sure they must not have seen too much of these biped types in this 50km radius of high mountains. Well anyway, I am not here to speak about the terrain and her natural inhabitants. I am here to share a few things that are connected to one of the many out of place bipeds that have been lurking around this area in that name of building a super highway.
This certain biped (you can call him ‘X’) even though miles away from humanity still connects to the world (ah! The magic of Arabic cable TV with sub-titles and also courtesy to the technology, that yet to be tested on humans, called 3kbps Internet). This ‘X’ has been thinking a bit too much of I, me, you, your, him, her, them, they so on and so forth. The thoughts were becoming a bit too complicated and ‘X’ started raising questions about who he is and that entire ruckus connected to such queries. ‘X’ has been having this what, where, when and why syndrome on what is Individuality. No one can blame him though for conceiving such thought after all ‘X’ was the quintessential curious crow. This certain habit had made ‘X’ a rather messy reader who pondered, dwelled and infested upon any piece of literature that came across those curious eyes. And so one day ‘X’ came across a piece of literature called “Thoughts on Individualism and Commitment” that was written by Murakami Haruki and Kawai Hayao; here are some of the excerpts that was absorbed by ‘X’ through his curious eyes
- “The school principal announces, “We must encourage individuality,” and everyone says, “Yes sir! OK everyone, all together now, let’s encourage individuality!” Without even realizing it, they’re acting as a group. That’s how difficult the concept of individuality is”
- “The notion of commitment has become very important. Before, detachment was the important thing to me.”
- “The way someone is branded “antisocial” if they miss a group activity. Individual freedom is curtailed. Those who stick with the group in everything are considered fine upstanding people, while those who try to act individually are heathen”
- “You see a lot who just cry all the time, saying “Why me, why me?” They never seem to realize that in the final analysis they have to overcome their problems by themselves. They have a hard time getting better, because they expect everybody else to fix things for them.”
- “Do you think marriage is, in a sense, kind of mutual therapy?”
“Oh, definitely. That’s also why it can be so painful. If one really wants to understand one’s spouse, it isn’t enough to discuss things rationally. You have to digs well, as it were.”
- “It’s ridiculous to think that two people who fall in love and get married are then going to live happily ever after. People get depressed after they get married because they marry on that assumption.”
- “I’ve heard of people who divorce and marry someone else, but then end up remarrying the first person.”
- “In the old days, marriage was just two people cooperating. If they did that until they died, then it was considered to have been a good marriage. These days, people want to understand one another, not simply work together”
- “There are plenty of cases in which a wife, for example, tries to understand her husband but ultimately decides that she simply can’t. Sometimes, after living together a long time on the assumption that she understands him, she’ll all of a sudden realize that she doesn’t. To start over and try to understand him again is very hard. In most cases, she’ll just criticize him, saying he doesn’t understand anything or concluding that all men are worthless.”
- “Romantic love doesn’t last very long. If you want to sustain romantic love for any length of time, you can’t have sexual relations. In my view, it’s impossible to sustain romantic love for a long period of time while engaging in sexual relations. So if you want to maintain the marital relationship, you have to be willing to move it to a different dimension”
“But the sexual relationship also has a therapeutic function, right? At some point, though, you have to switch to a different type of therapy, I suppose…..”
“Right. When you’re young, the sexual relationship is terribly important, and it’s also therapeutic, but after a while, that’s not enough anymore.”
“And people who can’t switch to a different dimension at that point will try to find sex therapy elsewhere, I guess.”
“That’s right, they look elsewhere and become involved in another sexual relationship……they may have what’s known as a “live-in divorce,” where the couple are emotionally divorced but continue to live under one roof as a married couple”
- The other thing you often see is people who simply abandon the idea of expanding their world through relations with the opposite sex. They channel their eros into something else. Someone might become a scholar and conduct exhaustive research into a particular subject. If you direct your eros toward a woman, you’re dealing with living human being, which raises all kinds of complications. So, instead, you direct it toward, say, old historical documents. You wax passionate about them: “Oh, this part is worm-eaten... Now, what could this character be?” It’s much less risky.”
- “It seems to me that in marriage people realize there’s no perfect answer, and that there are things and emotions that are beyond their control, and in that sense the marital relationship can open the door to religious feeling. Of course, it’s not the only way.”
“If you enjoy researching old documents, why not, right?”
“Except that the man might get all his pleasure from examining old documents, while his wife seeks a meaningful marital relationship. If you’re not careful, the results maybe be tragic. If, on the other hand, the wife lays aside her views on marriage and pours all her energy into raising the kids, or making pickles or whatever, then it’s possible for things to go along more or less on an even keel.”
- “In the final analysis, it’s a matter of how you yourself want to live. It may be that only a minority of people are capable of investing a great deal in marriage, I personally think it’s a terrifically interesting way to live. In fact, I can’t think of anything more interesting…..I also think that….marriage can offer a pathway to understanding religion.”
- “My view is, you have to think about who might be hurt by what you’re doing. Call me westernized if you will, but for me, it’s a question of individual responsibility.”
Now I must say that was one long excerpt. I did it find worth the read. Now you may wonder why I am sharing all this literature that was grasped by some quintessential curious crow called ‘X’. Well I guess I am one of those beings that must not have seen too much of these biped types.
If you do not believe that last line I said, then please; you can call me Ughh the caveman.
