W1C1 Flu

With the World Cup Fever on a rampant mood, a team of medical, engineering and football experts have come across the following findings that can give us explanations on the various types of Fever that is occurring in South Africa.

1. The English Flu: This is a rare case of Italian virus much similar to any other virus but it is rather very effective. As usual this virus embeds into the English FA system in the form of a rather harmless injection called “Capello hired as coach” method. The virus then shuts down vital system function DNA by hindering normal English FA processes like interacting with media, showing off WAGS and mind-blowing merchandising techniques. The virus then takes charge of the complete system and runs it as if there is nothing wrong in the system by a technique called “Qualifying for World Cup with Ease”. After this technique, the temperature rises in the whole system due to high excitement levels and the virus the ensuring that it is control of the system injects lethal DNA decoders that destruct the FA system and result in serious or at times fatal illnesses like goalie hiccups, drunken forwards and semi conscious midfielders.

2. French Measles: This is a severe type of World Cup fever where all is hay-wire and the infected system collapses into a vegetative state. The brain a.k.a Domanech is effected first and then it starts sending wrongs signals to the system like signaling the immune system a.k.a system defense to let down all guards to ensure that the system gets familiar to all sorts of external attacks. The French Measles has been declared as a global endemic in Paris by French Government and is on a look out for a certain Algerian who they now feel has a better head that the current infected one to resist and react against external forces.

3. Italian Dysentery: A very common form of illness that is categorized in almost all World Cup fevers and is still perplexing all our experts on how it works (or not works). The past studies have shown that the infected system has a rather unique way of settling things, this illness either attacks the system as soon as the Fever takes centerstage or at times when the Fever is almost subdued. Currently it has attacked the system at the initial stages and looks all set to release the Shhit out of the system. The reason why this illness is quiet perplexing to our experts is that in their 1994 study, there was no Dysentery at all until the last kick of the tournament while in 1998 and 2002 case studies this dysentery followed the same modus-operandi by lurking within the system and delivering vital blows, the case study got beyond the realms of our experts in 2006 case study, in this case study it was discovered that this illness was highly contagious and even stronger than French Measles.

With the Fever which is just a week or so old causing such extensive damages, our experts have deduced that the worst is yet to come. The team would also like to say that their research grant is long due from FIFA and that the non payment of grants can result in dire consequences and damages.